Sasquatch Coffee

Bigfoot Paranoia

Posted by: Craig Woolheater on May 30th, 2013

I’m sure that most of you have read an occasional post or two, from time to time, about how we need to keep our guard up concerning the Bigfoot/Sasquatch/Forest People. That they might have some evil dastardly plan to fool all of us which will lead to our ultimate demise.

Well…… just a public service reminder:

1. Do any of you……. anyone at all….. have a personal story to share where a Squatch physically hurt you, raped you, and/or killed you? Well, I guess if one killed you…… you probably wouldn’t be able to respond to my question. Silly me!!!

2. Do any of you…. anyone at all…. have a friend or family member who was physically hurt by a Squatch, raped by a Squatch, or killed by a Squatch? I’m only aware of two stories where people were killed by Squatches and that’s after they took a shot or two at it (i.e., The Squatch was obviously defending itself).

3. When a Squatch growls at someone, breaks trees, stomps on the ground, throws rocks in your direction (and doesn’t hit you, I might add), or chases you….. Its simply because they want you to leave their home. You’re trespassing!!! There’s nothing violent or dangerous about those behaviors. Intimidating, yes!!! Violent, no!!!

4. In the book, “411″, is there any 100% undeniable proof that a Squatch abducted and/or killed anyone? Any proof at all??? ….. or just insinuations???

5. Have you heard of any stories where a Squatch has groped a female? I have. I don’t think he was trying to rape her and I don’t think she was in any danger at all. I think he was a sexually charged, highly testosterone loaded adolescent Bigfoot male who was simply curious about this very beautiful, hairless, human female. They don’t have the same values and morals that us humans live by (i.e., Thou shall not touch a woman without her consent). In the Squatch’s mind, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He was simply curious and checking out this very beautiful woman.

6. How many of you have gone out in the woods among the Squatches and have returned home alive? I’ve thought this through several times. This one fact alone has helped me to overcome my fear of the Squatches. For the past 13 years, I’ve been out there among the Squatches a billion times. Okay that might be exaggerated by just a couple million times. My point is that if the Squatches were dangerous and if the Squatches wanted me dead, I would have died a several times already.

7. Are you aware that throughout human history, whenever humans from all cultures didn’t understand something, they often attributed demonic attributes to the new kid on the block. Then they would warn others about the demon and come up with creative ways to kill the demon.

8. How many of you have had pleasant, peaceful, playful, informative interactions with the Squatches?

The Human Race is full of great and wonderful people. Occasionally, a “Jack Ass” comes along and shoots everyone or tries to blow everyone up. That certainly does not make all Humans bad, horrible, violent, despicable people. It just means that there’s occasionally going to be one Bad Apple who tries to spoil the whole bunch. Likewise, you might occasionally come across a Squatch who is a “Jack Ass” but he certainly DOES NOT represent all of the Squatches that exist today.

Is it important to keep our guard up? Well, in a manner of speaking, yes it is. I take my 44 mag out into the woods with me for Cougar, Bear, and Stupid Humans. I keep my guard up in the woods. Is it important to keep our guard up with the Squatches? Well, truthfully, I fear a Stupid Human out in the woods more than I fear a Squatch. Truth be told, there’s no way you’re ever going to successfully Habituate with a Squatch family if they sense your fear and a lack of trust.

The facts speak for themselves. Most Squatches are very trustworthy and there’s absolutely NOTHING to fear accept for Stupid Humans. I think we are doing the Squatches an injustice when we suggest or infer that they could be dangerous. If they were anything like that at all, you wouldn’t be reading what I just wrote. I would be dead and incapable of typing. Just saying……

Dr Matthew A Johnson
(Owner of the “Team Squatchin USA” Facebook Group)

About Craig Woolheater
Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005. I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films: OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster.


4 Responses to “Bigfoot Paranoia”

  1. DWA responds:

    I am the ghost of a dude who alleges he was killed by a squatch.

    Contact me. Ouija, Wednesday nights, 8-9 p.m.

  2. Sal DiGennaro via Facebook responds:

    The Missing 411 books are a compilation of missing people cases across North America, it is never stated that Squatches took those people. It does state common evidence in the cases and provides if there was ever a resolution. This article is silly and misinformed……

  3. Goodfoot responds:

    Thanks, Craig. Great fun. My cuzzin Izzy saw a female Squatch smack the BEJEEZUS out of a big male who got fresh with her. Moral code? They got it! DON’T GIT FRESH WITH ONE.

  4. NMRNG responds:

    I think the subtitle to this article should read “Or Do Any Of You Want To Idenitify Yourselves As Wackjobs?”



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