Sasquatch Coffee


Bigfoot Tracks Discovered in Los Angeles

Posted by: Craig Woolheater on November 17th, 2006

Well, since I have recently been called the National Enquirer of Cryptomundo by a reader, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to go ahead and post the following story from the Weekly World News.

Bigfoot Tracks Discovered Outside Chinese Theater

Grauman Bigfoot Prints

LOS ANGELES, Calif.–Bigfoot’s tracks have joined the hundreds of famous footprints outside the renowned Chinese Theater.

"The tracks appeared right before dawn, in unattended cement that had been prepared for the vaudeville pioneer Art Sweeney," Blavin said.

The nonagenarian vaudevillian played the theater on its opening night and had been waiting decades for a spot in the famous forecourt.

Some city leaders contend that Bigfoot himself was long overdue for a monument at the theater.

"The creature has appeared in movies and television shows for over thirty years, and his tactics for avoiding photographers have been widely emulated by film stars’ publicists," said producer Benji DeLaurenta.

Nevertheless, theater managers want to remove the creature’s footprints at once.

"Bigfoot has only been represented by other actors,–rather than personally present–in feature films, and is therefore ineligible for a place in the forecourt," Blavin said.

Of greater concern to city officials is the possibility that Bigfoot now prowls the streets of Los Angeles–where the weird creature may prove even more difficult than usual to identify.

Consider the source. The Weekly World News. These are the same guys who offer up the following video:

Weekly World News Bigfoot

The creature’s footprints reveal mastery of the spot turn, open break, and enchufla–ballroom-mambo style.

About Craig Woolheater
Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005. I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films: OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster.


22 Responses to “Bigfoot Tracks Discovered in Los Angeles”

  1. Swamp_Screamer responds:

    The guy/gal shouldn’t have left their Fingerprints!

  2. DWA responds:

    OK, OK, I’m just gonna pretend I don’t see a midtarsal ridge there. Back away slooooooowly

  3. Shihan responds:

    Bigfoot couldn’t have chosen a better place to hide! In LA he would completely blend in – No wonder we’ve been unable to find him! All of the photos we do have of him must be the times he took the “fam” on vacation – It’s so clear to me now!

  4. fredfacker responds:

    That’s funny stuff.

  5. mystery_man responds:

    Only in LA. Maybe all the Bigfoot in the movies are real and he was just dropping in for an audition.

  6. mememe responds:

    SALSA LESSONS

    Its good to see a member of a minority group taking the time to get involved with the community at a local level.

    Good for Him. Dancing makes you a killer with the ladies.

  7. bill green responds:

    hey craig great interesting new article about bigfoot. bill :)

  8. things-in-the-woods responds:

    Well, thats got me convinced. ;)

  9. DARHOP responds:

    WOW! Who would of thought… LA?

  10. ponyboy responds:

    I hope somebody got a track casting of these! :P

  11. jjames1 responds:

    Just in case anyone has any doubts, this whole story is made up. All of the names are fake, and there are no Bigfoot footprints (whether real or fake…) at Grauman’s Chinese Theater.

  12. CamperGuy responds:

    I am very surprised by all of this. I thought it well established that bigfoot was a waltz specialist. Maybe the salsa one is a rebellious youngster or visiting relative from further south?

  13. sausage1 responds:

    Bigfoot salsa? Possibly further south, but in L.A. my money is on the Gay Gordons.

  14. vet72 responds:

    What next? A star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!

  15. DWA responds:

    Not so fast, vet72. We in the crypto community have been over this scenario, way too many times.

    Remember Johor. No premature pronouncements. Let the evidence build. Scrutinize all sightings; make sure the balloting process is airtight. And count all those gold statues. I really think we’re going to need much more than the Patterson film and these tracks before we even start talking Walk of Fame territory.

    Much less Best Actor Oscar. Patterson’s good, but it’s a Short Subject at best, and a bit grainy. Could get a wardrobe, though. Particularly if nobody finds that zipper.

  16. dws responds:

    I am so angried by the fact that the Sasquatch is taken so lightly. I feel we would have already proven or disproved its existance. But it is because of “news” like these and hoaxes that the scientific community does not take believers like us seriously. The Sasquatch myth has been dragged through the mud long enough by people who just want to profit of its image (TOM BISCARDI I’m looking wide-eye at you!)
    I wish the Sasquatch was proven REAL so we can end this discussion once and for all.

    And I’ve been a HUGE Sasquatch fanatic since I knew what it was..like for 20 years now

  17. jasonpix6 responds:

    ummm, er…, nevermind…

  18. Raptorial responds:

    One problem: this comes from the Weekly World News, the biggest load of bull this century. If it was from somewhere else I might be a little less skeptical.

  19. mememe responds:

    I wonder if there is any chance of signing Him up for a Franchise?

    THE WORLD FAMOUS BIGFOOT SALSACISE CLASS.

    Now you can have the body you’ve always dreamed of. Burn off that fat and get toned like Bigfoot. Order today and get a free Berry and Twig cook book.

  20. purrlcat responds:

    After seeing this, I got to wondering, has anyone ever found any TINY human-type footprints anywhere which were unexplainable!?

  21. kittenz responds:

    This Bigfoot obviously swam over from Johor. That’s why its toe prints are so small. It was in the water too long and its toesies puckered up.

  22. superd responds:

    Common everybody, can’t you tell they’re fake? Their not in line!



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