Sasquatch Coffee

Comes the Krampus: a Kevin Smith Film

Posted by: Craig Woolheater on January 28th, 2014

If you listen to the EDUMACATION podcast, you’ll remember that episode 20 (Part 2 of the Christmas eps) consisted of another dopey conversation that resulted in a screenplay – a’la SModcast and TUSK. I was goofing around with Mr. Edumacation himself, Professor Andy McElfresh, when we accidentally brainstormed a Christmas horror anthology that would eschew the gruesome spin on Santa Claus, and instead embrace the Scandinavian/German Kid-Eating Christmas creature known as the The Krampus. That podcast was released 12/23/13.

It took us less than a month, but Andy and I have finished the screenplay for a flick we’re calling COMES THE KRAMPUS! It’s 99 pulse-pounding pages of what’s essentially SModCo’s CREEPSHOW, with four terrifying tales stitched together by a freaky framing device. It was a blast to write and totally new to me, as I never actually wrote a screenplay WITH someone else before.

And now, to extend the spirit of collaboration even further, I’M GONNA CO-DIRECT THE FLICK WITH THE SMODCO FAMILY! Andy McElfresh will direct the “The Krampus vs. The 3rd Grade” episode (SO fucked up), Jason Mewes (yes – THAT Jason Mewes) will direct the “Hitler’s Krampus” episode (twisted period piece), I will direct the “Mask Maker” episode (the Gothic horror piece), Carol Banker will direct the “The Proposal” episode (which is fucking nuts), and Jennifer Schwalbach will direct “The Bad Babysitter” – which is the framing device that holds the whole mess together. Jordan Monsanto will produce for SModcast Pictures and the twin SModCo cherries on the top of this scary sundae? I’m gonna force my Bro Scotty Mo(sier) to act in it and Babble-Meister RALPH GARMAN will feature in every episode!

The script reads like it’s maybe a $2 million movie. We’ll start doing a schedule and a budget next week, but the idea is to shoot it right on the heels of CLERKS III (which I’m hoping to start on April 7th). It’s gonna be fun and a true SModcast Picture! There’s something to be said for the power of podcasting…

But right now, I’m off to Sundance for a panel at 3 and the 20th Anniversary CLERKS screening at midnight! The kid who made CLERKS would be horrified to see how much weight he’s gained in two decades, but he’d also be happy to know he’s finally gonna make an anthology movie. Shit balances out, I guess.

Go record a podcasts, kids. Don’t cost nothin’ but time and the potential yield is limitless.

krampus-script

About Craig Woolheater
Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005. I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films: OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad, Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster, Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot: Return to Boggy Creek and Beast of the Bayou.




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