Posted by: Craig Woolheater on October 20th, 2005
Canadian parody site, The Toque, posted a "humourous" article entitled, "Watch For Sasquatch On Road: Keep Your Big Foot Near The Brake Pedal.
Tourists and travelers are warned to be cautious driving through British Columbia this Spring. With the warm weather approaching, sasquatches will be migrating to their summer habitats.
"You’ve got to be careful driving at night," said Ministry of Highways official Dane Fredricksen. "If you’re not paying attention, a sasquatch can wipe out your Toyota Corolla faster than you can say ‘Harry and the Hendersons’."
This cautious sasquatch studies the highway, waiting for an opportunity to cross to the other side.
While this article and the stories contained in it are fictional, I did find an interesting post by a Dr. Pat Sullivan on a website guestbook several years ago. I found it very interesting to say the least. I emailed the Dr. and received no response. I even did a phone directory search for a listing in the town that was listed and called the 2 numbers that came back for that name with the same results; no response. I guess it goes down as one of the ones that got away.
Back in 1979 I was called upon to assist at an automobile accident about 30 miles northeast of Dallas Texas. The automobile had collided with "Large Bear" according to the police radio and its occupant was pinned in the front seat by the animal which had gone through the windshield. Both were still alive when I got there. The place was covered with military and police vehicles and the "bear" was emitting great screams. I was not allowed to approach the vehicle until bear was removed. A police officer shot the animal several times before it stopped screaming. The scream was definitely not bearlike – in fact it sounded almost human. They kept me and all other civilians about a hundred feet away while the military personnel covered the "bear" with a large black tarp and loaded it into a capped truck. One could se the outline of the body under the tarp – it had very long legs, both front and back and was shaped like a very large man. I asked to see the animal before they took it away. They treated my request with a cold "No!" and told me to mind my medical business. The woman was unhurt but in shock. She kept saying that what she hit was not a bear but a big hairy man and others gathered around were saying that it was a bigfoot. I never saw anything about the accident in the local papers.
Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005. I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films: OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad, Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster, Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot: Return to Boggy Creek and Beast of the Bayou.