Sasquatch Coffee

The First Bigfoot Porn Film

Posted by: Loren Coleman on May 12th, 2007

The Geek

The first (and hopefully last) graphic, boring, Bigfoot porn film has been discovered.

In terms of full disclosure and capturing the total history of cryptocinema, I have to record a mention of this 15 minute film – a 1981 production – The Geek. The director is unknown, the producers are unknown, the writer is unknown, the editor is unknown, and most of the actors are too. One individual, Lynn Holmes, has placed The Geek in her acting credits on the IMDb. Are we to assume she is the woman being sexually violated by Bigfoot in this film?

I only know about this film from its critics and have not viewed it. As reviewer Deeky Wentworth writes about this short movie: “I’m not an expert or anything, but if seven minutes of your fifteen minute film consists of footage of people walking, and your film isn’t about people walking, then something is terribly, terribly wrong. You see, this movie is about Bigfoot.”

Then Wentworth goes on to make it rather obvious, this is really a film about a little more graphic sex than you might wish to have in your Bigfoot research film collection.

I know all about getting into hot water from trying to talk about the biological possibilities of Bigfoot’s sexual activity, from a scientific point of view. In my “Sex and the Single Sasquatch” writings and lectures for years, I’ve seen what people do when they want to misread what you’re saying and a sense of humor. So let me be crystal clear. This film goes way beyond a realistic discussion of the biological parameters of Bigfoot sexuality. After all, The Geek is a porn film and thus a human creation from a male human’s imagination, apparently. It is not a Bigfoot documentary.

The Geek opens with some text about Sasquatch, and footage from someone’s home movies, seemingly taken while on vacation in the Pacific Northwest. This partially explains the credit “Filmed on Location in Washington, Oregon and Alberta.” Either that or my copy was missing a few reels. The text is followed by narration about Sasquatch. Yes, this film is about Bigfoot, in case you missed that. Just don’t expect to see him anytime soon.

Oh, and then comes the walking. And walking. And walking. And walking. And walking. And walking. And walking. All this accompanied by stock music. Six hikers, three men and three women, traverse up hills, through trees, into the brush.

After half the film is taken up with footage of them walking, the hikers finally stumble upon the first evidence of Sasquatch. The leader of the expedition describes it as a footprint, and we’ll take his word for it that’s what the ripple in the dirt is. A few moments later, they find a pile of Bigfoot [fecal material] and decide this must be the beast’s camp.

And they’re right.

As they watch the nearby tree line, they suddenly spy Bigfoot. Quite clearly it’s just a guy in a very fake gorilla suit sans the head, with hair glued on his face. He grunts and growls, in his poorly-dubbed way, but he doesn’t frighten the hikers. No, if he did that, there’d be no Bigfoot [sexual activity], would there?

So, one of the hiker guys grabs one of his lady friends by the hand and pulls her toward Bigfoot. He coaxes her into making contact with the beast. Demurely, she approaches and holds out her delicate hand. Bigfoot sniffs her politely, then… Deeky Wentworth, Surfin’ Dead Reviews

There is nothing politically correct about this film. In terms of the mentality of a generation coming out of the 1970s, I assume there was a portion of the filmmakers’ thought process that went in the direction of considering that a human female hiker being raped by a Bigfoot could end up enjoying it. Ugh. Such things don’t seem to happen in the real world, but then, this was a Bigfoot porn. Women can be abused and exploited in Sasquatch porns as well as human ones, obviously. It is a sad commentary on our society that some folks had to go too far with the popular cultural icon of Bigfoot and include a rape by a Sasquatch in a porn film.

Not recommended.

Two sites with graphic material and unfortunate images from this film are at Brainsonfilm.com and the Surfin’ Dead site. Due to the nature of those images they have not been shared here, as per the ownership’s guidelines for Cryptomundo, except for the PG one above of the “first contact.”

Thanks to Michael Strainic for alerting me to this film. As he noted, “I guess it was inevitable.”

About Loren Coleman
Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct). Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013.


29 Responses to “The First Bigfoot Porn Film”

  1. Kimble responds:

    This was not a fictional porn film, this was a REAL documentary. Didn’t you read the Weekly World News’ headline, “I had Bigfoot’s Love Child?” Here’s your proof!

  2. Kimble responds:

    Boy, I wish I could edit posts. After I clicked “submit comments” I realized how stupid it was.

    Please consider it retracted.

  3. Tobar responds:

    This recalls to my mind that footage captured by RVers of a Sasquatch walking across the road with a uh….part of his anatomy about. Have you ever commented on that footage Loren?

  4. alanborky responds:

    “one of the hiker guys grabs one of his lady friends by the hand and pulls her toward Bigfoot. He coaxes her into making contact with the beast. Demurely, she approaches and holds out her delicate hand. Bigfoot sniffs her politely, then…”

    Loren, this might be me being a bit too clever, but the above snippet of scene description immediately brought to my mind that part of the Ancient Sumerian Gilgamesh epic where Gilgamesh arranges for his potential adversary the wild man Enkidu to lose his innocence by being seduced by a temple courtesan.

    You could argue, then, that ‘porno’ and ‘Bigfoot’ have been connected right from the dawn of civilisation.

    The peculiar thing is until I read this piece it never dawned on me – except in an exceedingly flippant way – just how significant Sasquatch sexuality might actually be.

    Sex is openly evident in the annals – I hope that’s the word – of Ufology but to the best of my knowledge isn’t so explicit in the world of Sasquotica/Sasquatchery, (to coin a couple of phrases).

    I know something of your own observations on this matter, but for some reason it’s never struck me as a particularly fertile – pardon the pun – area of investigation until now.

    Off the top of my head I find myself quickly scanning the evidence available to my mind and provisionally concluding it suggests Bigfoot may very well be like us humans and sexually seasonless…

    But for now I’m off to review more learned opinions in tomes such as your own and cogitate lofty thoughts about not so lofty bodily regions…

  5. DWA responds:

    Tobar: I think you’re talking about the “Redwoods” video (which actually had a racier name originally).

    Dunno whether I was looking at a bad generation of it, but that was the blobbiest blobsquatch I ever saw. And I understand Meldrum vouches for it!

  6. Loren Coleman responds:

    Well, with regard to the Playmate, er, Redwoods incident, Tobar asks: “Have you ever commented on that footage Loren?”

    Is that a trick question? I don’t think anyone is really concerned about the “footage” in that one, but only about something else. No one ever looks at the feet in that tape.

    (See the link above in this blog, under “Sex and the Single Sasquatch.” That’s where I’ve commented on the Redwoods “footage,” which is about a nonfiction Bigfoot film not a Bigfoot porn film, supposedly.)

  7. fuzzy responds:

    Good Grief!

  8. things-in-the-woods responds:

    Whatever we might feel about this film, the amusing thing is that many Bf fakers (see the last few videos posted on this site) manage to be even less convincing than this guy in the monkey suit…

    Rather more seriously, on the subject of sasquatch sexuality, has anyone ever reported any sightings of BF sexual activity at all, or of interaction of a sexual nature? I suspect the fact that BF is so rarely seen, and almost always singly, makes the first unlikely. However, if we are to assume (and i think we should) that sasquatch is a primate of some kind (perhaps, either a giganto relative or something like a homo erectus- no giggling at the back there…), it is not inconceivable that sasquatch should experience some kind of sexual attraction to humans. Do any reports give the impression of Bf ‘coming on to’ humans it encounters?

    Lorens comments about the silly (and awfully bad) film, reminded me of Birute Galdikas’ report of her cook having been raped by a male orangutan (and, anecdotaly, I believe that is not an isolated occurance).

  9. things-in-the-woods responds:

    And alanborky, I love that idea of relating this film to the epic of Gilgamesh… There’s a comparative literature thesis in there somewhere :)

  10. simianfever responds:

    Actually had a copy of this from Something Weird Video. I had rented years ago while living in Boston from a small shop and I don’t think the copy ever made it back. It had another cheesy porn coupled with it on the tape whose name escapes me. Not sure where it is now. Silly movie.

  11. elsanto responds:

    Hmmmm… take out the sex scene and what you’re left with is that great classic, “The Curse of Bigfoot”.

    Having Elvira host that made up for the lack of sex scenes. :P

    Just my two cents.

  12. elsanto responds:

    Ye cats! I’m dating myself with that last post!

  13. dogu4 responds:

    Great lead-in, Loren.

    Funny how we treat BF’s sexuality a lot like we treat our own…with almost no regard for its instinctual component.

    I just read an interesting hypothesis as to the role that sexual selection would have come into play as a barrier preventing sexual congress between h.sapiens and other hominids. In a nutshell, most primates are driven by pheromones and other biophysical indicators and instincts. In humans, sexual receptivity is more cryptic and more dependent on psychological cues, making it more specific, and so routine sexual activity is most successfully undertaken within the cultural context of the social group, which kinda eliminates the notion that sexual contact would be casual enough for interspecies interaction…though there are always those among us for whom ancient instincts trump collective cultural wisdom, often enough with sometimes hilarious but usually disturbing and disappointing results.

  14. MBFH responds:

    That’s not added anything to my day.

  15. DavidFullam responds:

    Simianfever is right. Something Weird Video has carried the complete version of this for awhile now. The clipped version appears on the Godmonster of Indian Flats disc.

  16. horsepj responds:

    alanborky, you actually made me get my copy of Gilgamesh, a book I haven’t touched in twelve years. I raise my glass of jasmine tea to you.

  17. Emperor responds:

    The first (and hopefully last) graphic, boring, Bigfoot porn film has been discovered.

    In an industry that produces hardcore zombie porn (and even stole my “idea” for gay clown porn) what we can be certain of is that if that is the first Bigfoot skinflick it won’t be the last. Three years ago someone posted a link to a 2003 film called Flesh Circus on the Fortean Times message board and I’ve blogged up the few details I have to hand here.

    I don’t know for sure but you get the feeling a lot of this is for freakshow value rather than titillation, if you’ll excuse the pun. At least I hope society hasn’t sunk that low yet. Another thing to consider: will this blog entry result in copycat mucky movies? Sexquatch perhaps?

  18. Mnynames responds:

    Wow. I guess Simianfever really does have the “Simian fever”, LOL.

    Seriously though, one would think that any purportedly real BF footage which showed apparent genitalia might be more worthy of serious study, as it’s an unlikely feature for hoaxers to include (just like the much discussed breasts of Patty), to say the least, and it’s not as if the real deal walks around in undies or diapers or anything.

    Kudos to you, Loren, for managing to use an execrable 70’s porno as a launching point for a serious discussion.

    Along the lines of Gilgamesh’s best bud Enkidu, the sexual escapades of European Wildmen (Wodewose, Wudewasa) were an oft-told tale, and many were depicted with noticeable erections. Although I never had a chance to do anything more than skim through it for a Prospectus I was working on, Richard Bernheimer’s “Wild Men In The Middle Ages” may be a good place to start if one were interested in learning more.

    It’s been a few years, but this is what my Prospectus said on the matter, which I share freely-

    “The wild man’s animalistic qualities and indulgence in primal urges naturally led him to becoming a symbol of eroticism and sex for medieval Europeans as well, and as such gives us perhaps the most clear-cut example of a fabulous being as a tool for catharsis. Wild men could get away with even the most depraved sexual activities and usually avoid punishment, as it was seen as being inherent to their natures. As such, stories of them served as a sexual release valve for the restrictive societies that created them. Movies and video games serve much the same purpose in today’s society in terms of releasing frustration and violent urges in a culturally acceptable manner.”

  19. Rillo777 responds:

    To me the interesting thing is that this crass movie has brought forth a lot of intellectual discussion on the possible nature of bigfoot sexuality; nothing has been said that has been crude or off-color in the above comments. I think this really speaks well of the Cryptomundo community that no one has hooted like a drunk frat-boy or gone for the obvious juvenile sex jokes.

    (Of course, what we might be thinking away from the screen….?) :)

  20. slayerx responds:

    LOL GOOD POST MAN

  21. mystery_man responds:

    Things-in-the-woods- I don’t believe a large primate would have any more feelings of sexual attraction towards us than we would have towards them. I’ve never heard of, say, a gorilla trying to get frisky with a human and I would hope it hasn’t happened the other way around! I think there are a few more factors at work when determining sexual attraction than simply both of us being primates. There were some good ideas posited by Dogu4 concerning this and I think there’s a good chance that the sasquatch would not see us in that way at all considering we look and smell completely different than they do. There could be all kinds of sensory cues involved in sasquatch mating and there is every possibility that we are totally incompatible. Of course, if like you say, they are related to our ancestors, then who knows? I also think another factor is that first and foremost, a sasquatch would probably view us as a curiosity or perhaps even a threat rather than a potential mate.

  22. deeky responds:

    Thanks for the link, Mr. Coleman. Consider yourself lucky for never having seen this film. It’s utterly tacky. What I find far worse than the interspecies coupling is the whole rape aspect of the event.

  23. dogu4 responds:

    Mystery Man; I think if you do a little lookin’ around you might find there are some anecdotes regarding sexual aggressiveness in chimps and orangutans with humans. They may be apocryphal but there’s no doubt pheromones are very powerful catalysts for sexual behavior in a very strong and assertive animal and it quickly becomes an equation in physics and dominance. As to what would smell good to a BF, I’d bet the strong smell is more about territory and threat, and that the pheromones are something we share with our fellow apes at an almost sub-conscious or instinctual level. For humans it seems the biological imperative has the illusion at least of its being our fee will and it is couched in a human psychology that’s obviously beyond where our fellow apes are in those respects.

  24. dontmean2prymate responds:

    An ovulating female might work better as bait than an entourage of men reeking of cologne and nicotine knocking pieces of wood together in rhythm to melodic recordings of gibbon hoots.

  25. things-in-the-woods responds:

    Mystery_man,

    I agree in general, with what both you and Dogu4 have said. However, as I suggested, there certainly is (anecdotal) evidence of apes sexually attacking humans (and while there clearly are evolved biological mechanisms that make such biologically useless interspecies sexual activity unlikely, they clearly are not infallible). Without more details of these claimed events, and the contexts (i.e., do they involve human-reared apes, etc), it is hard to be sure how relevant they might be here.

    I guess I was just saying that if BF was reasonably closely related to us then sexual encounters, at least of this kind might have occurred and was interested to know if anyone had heard of any such reports. Although, I can imagine that even if they ever did they would not be reported. And even if they were, you can imagine what kind of coverage they would get, and what kind of newspaper they would end up in? And thus, how much credibility they would be seen to have? I know I wouldn’t take seriously a ‘I was raped by BF’ story in the Daily Sport.

    I guess the only even comparatively relevant story is that of the Alma, Zana (captured, and apparently producing six children with a human husband)- but, even if true, that clearly involves a very different species than the North American BF.

    (Incidentally, I’m afraid that there is -or so I’ve been told by a primatologist- evidence of humans sexually abusing apes- in particular, human derived sexual diseases are sometimes found in apes freed from captive situations).

  26. things-in-the-woods responds:

    Oh, and on a vaguely related subject, I once heard a very well respected primatologist say that when he went to work at the Yerkes Centre, it was admitted at least among some staff that there had been, in the early days, experiments in human chimpanzee cross-breeding (by artificial insemination). Indeed, apparently this did result in a pregnancy, but it was intentionally terminated. I don’t really know whether to believe any of it, but just thought I’d bring it up- it’d make a great conspiracy theory (not that i approve of such things, of course).

    Interesting to note that similar experiments were supposed to have taken place in china in the 50’s I think.

    So that’s Bf (or perhaps, the skunk-ape- after all the Yerkes Centre opened in Orange Park, Florida, in the 1930’s) and the various chinese wildmen/yeti beasties cleared up… ;)

  27. GLS responds:

    FWIW…

    In the 70’s there were several other flicks that somewhat followed this concept, if you will. One of note was a low budget 1970 film titled TROG with Joan Crawford, gasping her last it seemed. The film bio blurb is on IMDB.com. The Trogs were cave dwellers, multiplied quickly, were discovered, captured and harnessed by a nasty, profiteering person into a work force where they were rewarded with cans of…

    wait for it…

    SPAM!

    I saw it years ago on a Drive-In triple feature, quite laughable. Anyway, in the plot, a ‘scientist’ takes an ‘interest’ in one of the female Trogs and, well, the inevitable happens. A reverse of the topic here but still close enough for a film comparison of the original concept. Other porn knock-offs using Ski Bums in Pink BF/Ape suits and gals on the slopes leaves little to figure out, recent CableTV offerings have included porno plotlines reflective of ‘The Planet of the Apes’ and other old chestnuts involving Simians and us, whoever we are this week.

    Others will no doubt recall films having similar concepts, Mother Nature fills in the gaps where we don’t, it could happen…or not.

  28. jodzilla responds:

    I am ashamed to admit that I actually own a copy of this on DVD. It was an “extra” that came along with a movie about a giant mutant sheep called, “The God Monster of Indian Flats.” Nowhere on the box or menu did it mention the pornographic nature of the film, so it really shocked me when I watched it. It is really awful. I watched it once and was depressed for a month.

  29. Tobar responds:

    Haha, didn’t even think of that play on words. =P



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