Cryptozoology vs Cryptosexology

The complete story is now out. The book is real. But more than 50% of the names were false. I was surprised, but I decided to merely play along with the joke, because it was so transparent.

Today, April 2, 2010, the Portland Daily Sun posted the full article of their April 1st feature, with a new headline, complete with the real author’s name and a new ending.

Here it is:

Dueling experts: cryptozoology vs. cryptosexology

By David Carkhuff
Staff writer

A rival Bigfoot hunter is urging full disclosure about the contents of a forthcoming book by Loren Coleman, curator of the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, arguing that the book will feature plenty of mystery but not much sexual magic about Bigfoot.

The book, this researcher claims, will suppress details about Sasquatch’s sex life that merit a mention, if not a chapter, of the book, “Bigfoot in Maine.”

Henry Yarncooler, a lecturer on Bigfoot legends, said he can’t understand why Coleman and co-author Michelle Souliere, owner of the Green Hand bookstore where the Cryptozoology Museum resides, want to censor details of Bigfoot’s breeding habits.

“I’ve learned from an inside source that ‘Bigfoot in Maine’ by Coleman and co-author Michelle Souliere, is overlooking important research I’ve conducted into the little-known but important field of cryptosexology,” said Yarncooler.

Tentatively, “Bigfoot in Maine” by Coleman and Souliere is due for release in 2012 from Idyll Arbor Inc., Coleman announced recently on his blog (cryptomundo.com).

Coleman, a respected authority about hidden creatures such as Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster, said Yarncooler is trying to attract publicity through his assertions, which lack substance.

“Bigfoot in Maine” will follow in the footsteps of other serious explorations of the Sasquatch legend, Coleman said. The company’s publisher, Pine Winds Press, has released “Bigfoot in Georgia: Legends, Myths, and Sightings” by Jeffrey Wells, and other highly regarded texts, he noted.

To bring up “cryptosexology” is a smoke screen, Coleman said.

“This field of study long has been discarded by most serious researchers,” Coleman said. “I think Yarncooler just wants attention.”

“The subject matter of cryptosexology has been reduced to jokes about the size of Bigfoot’s feet relative to other parts of its anatomy,” agreed University of Southern Maine biology professor I. Tread Lightly. “Cryptosexology isn’t a serious field of study.

“Now, in the arena of alien abduction, sexual proclivities of abductors and their interplay with their human captives remain a vibrant area for study,” Lightly added. “But with hidden creatures such as Bigfoot and swamp apes, nobody wants to read about Bigfoot’s … well, latest walk to find a mate. Migration patterns for copulation simply can’t be quantified with a creature that has been seen so sporadically. First we just need the basic corroboration that such a creature exists. Then, we can put it into the lab and feed it Viagra.”

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY

Loren Coleman About Loren Coleman
Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading living cryptozoologist. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries. Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct). Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013. He returned as an infrequent contributor beginning Halloween week of 2015. Coleman is the founder in 2003, and current director of the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine.

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