May 12, 2007

The First Bigfoot Porn Film

The first (and hopefully last) graphic, boring, Bigfoot porn film has been discovered.

In terms of full disclosure and capturing the total history of cryptocinema, I have to record a mention of this 15 minute film – a 1981 production – The Geek. The director is unknown, the producers are unknown, the writer is unknown, the editor is unknown, and most of the actors are too. One individual, Lynn Holmes, has placed The Geek in her acting credits on the IMDb. Are we to assume she is the woman being sexually violated by Bigfoot in this film?

I only know about this film from its critics and have not viewed it. As reviewer Deeky Wentworth writes about this short movie: “I’m not an expert or anything, but if seven minutes of your fifteen minute film consists of footage of people walking, and your film isn’t about people walking, then something is terribly, terribly wrong. You see, this movie is about Bigfoot.”

Then Wentworth goes on to make it rather obvious, this is really a film about a little more graphic sex than you might wish to have in your Bigfoot research film collection.

I know all about getting into hot water from trying to talk about the biological possibilities of Bigfoot’s sexual activity, from a scientific point of view. In my “Sex and the Single Sasquatch” writings and lectures for years, I’ve seen what people do when they want to misread what you’re saying and a sense of humor. So let me be crystal clear. This film goes way beyond a realistic discussion of the biological parameters of Bigfoot sexuality. After all, The Geek is a porn film and thus a human creation from a male human’s imagination, apparently. It is not a Bigfoot documentary.

The Geek opens with some text about Sasquatch, and footage from someone’s home movies, seemingly taken while on vacation in the Pacific Northwest. This partially explains the credit “Filmed on Location in Washington, Oregon and Alberta.” Either that or my copy was missing a few reels. The text is followed by narration about Sasquatch. Yes, this film is about Bigfoot, in case you missed that. Just don’t expect to see him anytime soon.

Oh, and then comes the walking. And walking. And walking. And walking. And walking. And walking. And walking. All this accompanied by stock music. Six hikers, three men and three women, traverse up hills, through trees, into the brush.

After half the film is taken up with footage of them walking, the hikers finally stumble upon the first evidence of Sasquatch. The leader of the expedition describes it as a footprint, and we’ll take his word for it that’s what the ripple in the dirt is. A few moments later, they find a pile of Bigfoot [fecal material] and decide this must be the beast’s camp.

And they’re right.

As they watch the nearby tree line, they suddenly spy Bigfoot. Quite clearly it’s just a guy in a very fake gorilla suit sans the head, with hair glued on his face. He grunts and growls, in his poorly-dubbed way, but he doesn’t frighten the hikers. No, if he did that, there’d be no Bigfoot [sexual activity], would there?

So, one of the hiker guys grabs one of his lady friends by the hand and pulls her toward Bigfoot. He coaxes her into making contact with the beast. Demurely, she approaches and holds out her delicate hand. Bigfoot sniffs her politely, then… Deeky Wentworth, Surfin’ Dead Reviews

There is nothing politically correct about this film. In terms of the mentality of a generation coming out of the 1970s, I assume there was a portion of the filmmakers’ thought process that went in the direction of considering that a human female hiker being raped by a Bigfoot could end up enjoying it. Ugh. Such things don’t seem to happen in the real world, but then, this was a Bigfoot porn. Women can be abused and exploited in Sasquatch porns as well as human ones, obviously. It is a sad commentary on our society that some folks had to go too far with the popular cultural icon of Bigfoot and include a rape by a Sasquatch in a porn film.

Not recommended.

Two sites with graphic material and unfortunate images from this film are at Brainsonfilm.com and the Surfin’ Dead site. Due to the nature of those images they have not been shared here, as per the ownership’s guidelines for Cryptomundo, except for the PG one above of the “first contact.”

Thanks to Michael Strainic for alerting me to this film. As he noted, “I guess it was inevitable.”

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