Bounty For Montauk Monster
Posted by: Loren Coleman on July 31st, 2008
VENOM ENERGY DRINK OFFERS BOUNTY
FOR THE CAPTURE OF A LIVE “MONTAUK MONSTER”
Venom, the piercing energy drink that strikes back, promises a lifetime supply of product and a corporate monster-hunting sponsorship to anyone [strong] enough to subdue and capture the (presumably) ferocious, untamable Montauk Monster
PLANO, Texas (July 31, 2008) – Dedicated to enabling the most thrill-seeking conquests known to man or beast, Venom energy drink is offering free product for life and a corporate monster-hunting sponsorship to the first person [brave] enough to capture a live Montauk Monster.
Was it a de-shelled turtle? A chupacabras? A manticore? No one knows for sure, and the mystery of the grotesque sea-beast that washed ashore yesterday morning in Montauk, N.Y. remains a mystery. While vacationing Hamptonites recoiled with fright and the Internet exploded with speculation, the team behind Venom mobilized for action, realizing that this was the chance for true adventure that its thrill-seeking customers have been waiting for.
“This quest isn’t for the faint of heart. Google the thing and you’ll see what I’m talking about. That beak could shred a bottle of Venom,” said Chanda Rhodes, brand manager for Venom. “We bet it is going to put up a pretty big fight. It’s going to take a lot of energy and a huge set of cojones to bring it in alive. That’s why we’re guaranteeing the badass who can do it a lifetime supply of piercing energy…in a bottle.”
As a consultant to this quest, Loren Coleman, director of the International Cryptozoology Museum and Cryptomundo blogger said, “I would advise Montauk Monster hunters to use great caution getting close to this cryptid, and to wear thick gloves.”
The hooked beak had Coleman mumbling, “You may need a bigger boat,” over and over.
Rhodes also reiterated that the bounty would not be awarded unless the creature is brought back alive. “We don’t care how you do it. Nunchucks, robots, plasma grenades—just make sure it’s still breathing. No disintegrations.”
For more information about the beast and how Venom can help you summon the courage and energy to answer this challenge, visit the Capture The Beast blog.
The above is an actual Press Release from Fernando Rizo & Jonathan Bellinger, Ketchum Public Relations in conjunction with Jason Genthner, Venom.
Ketchum Public Relations and Dr Pepper/Snapple Group’s Venom did not have anything to do with the original photograph or initial publicity regarding the unknown body washing up on Montauk Island. They are merely interested in reinforcing the adventure aspect this news has generated. Mr. Rizo is a big fan and frequent reader of Cryptomundo. – LC
About Loren Coleman
Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading living cryptozoologist. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries.
Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct).
Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013. He returned as an infrequent contributor beginning Halloween week of 2015.
Coleman is the founder in 2003, and current director of the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine.
Is this the beginning of a new advertising trend? Will companies begin to monetize cryptid sightings?
Rock On!
Too cool! Congrats Loren! 🙂
I doubt anyone will find one alive (unless it has a wagging tail or bandit eyes). 🙂 I still think dog or raccoon make the most sense. Also, did I see that the original article said someone took the body? So we can’t even do DNA testing on it?
“”Bounty For Montauk Monster”
Quick. Call Quint. This sounds like something out of Jaws.
Hey I know some world famous “monster trackers” from Atlanta who could probably rise to the occassion of capturing and taming this wild beast! 😉
Judging by the beard it is a clearly a gnome, I propose we start our hunt in gardens and local floral shops
Will I win if I bring them a live Raccoon?
Hello all!! This is my first post after watching in the wings for the past couple of years……
This looks like a fighting dog that was mauled in the face, (That would be why any damage would be limited to the snout area… the wound would be the simplist place for an opportunistic scavenger to work over) bound, explaining the wrapped front legs, and thrown in the water to drown…. Dogs can’t swim without the use of their front paws. Just ask Michael Vick, this is one of the easiest ways to rid yourself of a loosing or dying animal..
I got a good chuckle from that copy. It’s cool that Mr. Rizo is able to combine his interest in Cryptomundo with his work in this marketing campaign by Ketchum, and even moreso that the International Cryptozoology Museum and Cryptomundo get a plug out of it. Excellent!
Stay away, everyone – this is a job for the professionals! But never fear; Will Smith is always out there… somewhere… unless he’s being kept busy with some Venezualan space demon from pluto
Scarfe is right — After DNA analysis prove it is a dog (or raccoon) will this company pay up or more likely claim some technocality that they don;t have to pay because this or that. JUST FREE ADVERTISING!!!!!!!!!
H.R. Giger wants his pet back…
Anyway, great advertising!!!
Yeah, they are going to need a bigger boat….
say it ain’t so mr. coleman!
its an obvious fake, or SOMEONE would not have absconded with the corpse, it would up for sale on ebay to the highest bidder.
and for venom to so quickly jump in with their ad campaign, utilizing loren of all people, and playing this up so, smacks of hype, madison avenue, and frankly muddies the waters where genuine cryptozoological interests can be raised.
that being said— i think the bald fat dude from bizarre foods has probably got some asian chefs to roast, smoke, boil, fillet, braize and sashimi the evidence into 20 recipes which he has gluttonuosly consumed with a nice chianti and fava beans by now. burp.
that monster is as good as mine
The shadow from the head is suspiciously different from the shadow from the rest of the body. The picture might just be a hoax.
It looks like a bloated PIG to me with part of it’s face worn away, but I’m just a farm gal so what do I know
Since it seems no one has sent the poor creature’s tissue to a lab for DNA analysis, I’ve sent Venom a picture of my neighbor’s pit bull and a video clip of the Pug of MIB fame. I also asked for my payment in British Pounds instead of US Dollars to get the most bang for the buck!
After seeing the new pics I agree that it is exactly what Jeff Corwin said it is. The bloated rotting corpse of a raccoon.