Beyond Loch Ness
Posted by: Loren Coleman on January 2nd, 2008
Coming to the Sci Fi Channel this coming Saturday, January 5, 2008, this film may be the answer to those who are suffering from cavities due to any sweetness overloads from The Water Horse.
Beyond Loch Ness appears to be cable television’s contribution to the B-movie horror fare for lake monsters.
So Nessie is a killer, humm?
Get your popcorn ready, if you live in North America.
Screenings in Scotland may have to wait until after the natives burn down the Sci Fi offices.
Who do you think will survive at the end of the movie?
About Loren Coleman
Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading living cryptozoologist. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries.
Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct).
Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013. He returned as an infrequent contributor beginning Halloween week of 2015.
Coleman is the founder in 2003, and current director of the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine.
Ah, as a consummate horror fan, I have to support this one, it’s the Sci-Fi Channel, so I don’t expect stellar acting or what not, but I was not excited by the Water Horse, so this one is probably more my fare (sorry Nessie, hey even you must have a bad day now and again, eh? Let’s not forget the swimmer you were after and would have gotten except for the priest who drove you away, nor the speed boat record setter that got himself perished and you got the credit for).
Don’t worry, I will have my popcorn ready. Hey, even Harrison Ford, Gary Sinese, Clancy Brown, and my personal favorite–Bruce Campbell play bad guys now and then. Who says Nessie can’t moonlight. She’s got to pay the rent too sometimes!
My prediction for the body count is 8.
Go Nessie!!!
LOL! Sweeeeeeeeeet. I’m in for 10 deaths.
Nessie will be the last one standing!
It sure won’t be the clown with the .22!
Nessie gotta eat. 🙂
At least Lance Henrikson isn’t in it. He is such a good actor. I just don’t understand how he gets sucked into so many really bad films.
There’s already been one cheapie Loch Ness deadly-monster B-movie. It’s hard to imagine the thought process involved in making a second.
*sigh*
Okay, so we all know the sort of pedigree these SciFi Originals have, and I’m here to report that Beyond Loch Ness keeps that tradition in the grandest way possible. Half assed storyline? Check. Made for TV thespian skills across the board? Check. Dodgy CGI and laughable puppet effects? Double check. Want some specifics? How about the heroic lead is a duster wearing, cigarillo smoking “cryptozoologist” bent on revenge (?) against the plesiasaur (??) that killed his father some decades ago (???). Not enough incredulous question marks for you? Turns out this aggressive, human eating creature is actually THE infamous Loch Ness Monster, now residing in an American lake (????). I like bad movies as much as the next guy, but damn if this one didn’t land with a wet thud.
Still haven’t seen Water Horse, but it’s GOTTA be better than this.
And we have a winner!!! Johnstownmonster called it!!! I counted 10 dead humans, one dog, a bullet ridden fox, and a slew of young critters along with momma–which did indeed turn out to be Nessie herself (apparently there is a express from Lake Superior to Loch Ness, who knew?).
As for the movie, well I’m not so sure it did any favors to cryptozoology…what with the “cryptozoologist” looking like a cross between Crocodile Dundee and Clint Eastwood’s, The man with no name–sheesh. And how many cryptozoologists do you know that can boast a sniper rifle, an EMP gun, a sonar gun and more cyanide than a government laboratory??? I don’t know Loren, weigh in here. Do you have a collection of high tech weaponry stashed for just such an emergency? I would at least invest in the cool hat. 🙂
The Sci-Fi Channel did not disappoint–we had plenty of eye rolling characters, some crappy lines, definitely a less than stellar plot and even the “monster cam!” I was sorry to see the sheriff’s deputy buy it at the end, he had some of the best lines. All in all, it was exactly the kind of stuff we expect from the Sci-Fi Channel, though is it me, or is the Sci-Fi Channel getting more gory? Uncle Sean is never going to look the same after that one!
Alright, my critique is done for the evening. Johnstownmonster, you have my praise for being dead on for the body count, you truly have a powerful gift, use it well.
As for me, I have glutted myself on low grade B-horror for the evening, I’m going to bed.
See ya!
Typical Scifi channel movie. Bad acting, bad special effects.
Not bad, but it’s just a rehash of THE CRATER LAKE MONSTER and SNAKEHEAD TERROR. And this is just gonna reinforce the “Nessie/Lake Cryptid-as-plesiosaur” theory.
Yeah, but it’s Sci-Fi, what did you expect? Like Sasquatch Mountain did much for the BF world. Oh well, life goes on and now I think I will go work on my screenplay for Sci-Fi, Giant Killer Otters of Loch Ness. Now if only I could get some editor from the Skeptical Inquirer to play the cryptozoologist.
The Cryptozoologist will survive!! Ha Ha!
The one constant with SciFi is to never hold out any hope for their original films. You CAN expect cheesy CGI effects, bad acting, and silly, convoluted plots. The funny thing is that, being the network that canceled Mystery Science Theater 3000, nearly all of SciFi’s original films are ideal MST3K fodder 🙂