Anthropologist Held Hostage By Elves For 7 Years
Posted by: Craig Woolheater on November 16th, 2013
MIRACULOUS: Icelandic authorities rescued missing scientist.
By C. Michael Forsyth
REYKJAVIK, Iceland — Seven years after she vanished without a trace, a female anthropologist emerged from a mysterious cave where authorities believe she may have been held hostage by real-life elves!
Danish researcher Kalena Søndergaard was stark naked, covered by dust and babbling incoherently when rescuers found her outside a tiny opening in the famous Elf Rock, traditionally believed to house the underground dwelling place of mankind’s tiny cousins.
“She was crouching like an animal and spoke only in a language unrelated to any we know,” said Armor Guðjohnsen of the National Rescue Service, which airlifted the 31-year-old survivor to a hospital by helicopter.
“The only word we could understand was ‘alfur,’ an old Icelandic word for elves. On her back were strange tattoos similar to those markings Viking explorers found on rock formations when they settled Iceland in 874, traditionally known as ‘elf writing.’ ”
Kalena, who was seeking proof of the existence of elves, was reported missing in January of 2006. At the time, police suspected she was the victim of foul play, but an intensive search failed to turn up any remains. On Feb. 4, 2013, hikers spotted the scientist crawling on all fours on a ledge high on the rocky hill, moving “more like an ape than a human being,” one of the hikers told a newspaper.
MYSTERY: Beautiful Danish anthropologist Kalena Søndergaard was missing since 2006 and presumed dead.
Dr. Niels Kristiansen was one of Kalena’s colleagues of at the University of Copenhagen in Denmark and says the anthropologist wrote her doctoral thesis on elf folklore.
“Until recently most experts assumed that stories about elves in Iceland were merely fairytales,” reveals Dr. Kristiansen. “But the discovery in 2003 of the so-called Hobbit in Liang Bua cave on the remote Indonesian island of Flores confirmed that a race of diminutive humanoids lived there as recently as 12,000 years ago.
“Kalena was excited about the possibility that Elves exist. That’s why she went to Iceland in 2005 to pursue her investigation.”
“Kalena may have stumbled onto an entryway to their kingdom,” Dr. Kristiansen speculates. “That act of trespass may have angered the hidden people and perhaps they took her captive so she couldn’t reveal their secret doorway to other outsiders.”
DISORIENTED: Missing anthroplogist Kalena “babbled incoherently” when rescued.
Though found without a stitch of clothing, the bedraggled woman did not appear to have been sexually abused. But authorities have not ruled out the possibility that she had voluntary relations with her captors.
“Elves reputedly have an interest in human females and are known to use mind control to seduce them,” observes folklore expert Eva Bryndísarson.
“Kalena’s brain is Swiss cheese now. She has been through a terrible ordeal,” says Dr. Kristiansen. “We are hopeful that she will someday be able to provide a lucid account of what happened.”
While scientists are eager to enter the crevice through which the anthropologist miraculously escaped, that may not happen for years — if ever.
“The government of Iceland is very protective of elf-related sites,” notes Dr. Kristiansen. “It’s doubtful they would allow an expedition into this secret underworld.”
Copyright C. Michael Forsyth
The author of this article wrote the blood-curdling horror novel Hour of the Beast, considered by many the best werewolf story since The Howling. In the shocking and controversial first 13 pages, a young bride is raped by a werewolf on her wedding night. After that, things start to get out of hand.
Read the entire story here.
Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005.
I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films:
OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad, Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster, Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot: Return to Boggy Creek and Beast of the Bayou.
So, we talking LotR elves, cookie making elves or just standard tiny people?
LOL 😉 Sojourn in Rivendell…
Well, if the bare facts of the matter are exactly as presented here, let’s just say there’s much that’s unexplained.
That certainly makes some people uncomfortable, doesn’t it?
If I had to guess, first appearances, this is pretty serious. As always, a thorough investigation will undoubtedly get closer to the reality of what happened.
This is pure fake. Here is an article. The woman in the pics was rescued from cliffs near a nude beach in California. The close up photo is from from a Russian dating site. For all I know the scientist doesn’t even exist. This is a pure hoax.
Lol
Nope.
So the story is a hoax? Where did the story come from?
I believe that this has been covered by our favorite skeptic, Sharon Hill, In her Doubtful news blog here.
The rescue pictures are from a real rescue in San Diego a few years ago.
No follow-up MSM or out-of-date articles. Looks fake.
The rescue photos are from a different story, btw.
Elf appears to be another word for a psycho – living underground in a cave and holding people captive and naked. I don’t understand that Icelandic Government. They ought to blow a big hole in that rock and see what the heck is down there…what those so called “elves” did was a crime and they ought to be held responsible. Protect a bunch of underground psychos? Why?
Is completely fake. He took it from a two year old story.
My apologies if I have made your day a little less interesting but this appears to be a spoof off an article for someone whose trip the the nudist beach went awry.
California, 2011. Look familiar?
http://youtu.be/qTHa_gY8TFM
Someone just made up a story to go with pictures from this incident.
Already debunked at Doubtful News.
Thoroughly debunked by Sharon Hill on her excellent blog. She notes the headshot is from a Russian dating site, and the nude woman on a cliff photos are actually from an incident in California. No elves here, folks.
Cryptomundo has lost ALL credibility since the departure of Loren Coleman. So sad.
is “swiss cheese brain” a technical term?
There’s one in every family! WOOOOO!
Good detective work, everyone! The story did smell a little rank, didn’t it?
My God this site has really gone downhill. If there were other crypto sites out there that were frequently updated, I think I would just stop coming here.
Craig, stop. You’re not helping.
‘Pears someone else’s suff’rin’ from swamp fever too.
My money’d been on another mermaid style crockumentary.
Hail t’RPJ for nailin’ it.
Just win baby!!!!!!!!
Nice work, Craig. It appears some here take sore offense at any bit of foolery, poked fun or ordinary mischief. The most hilarious part is that some think Loren would be above doing the same thing!
Calm down, people. You can still keep your dignity, if you wish.
William, you crack me up! Thanks for making my evening! Awesomely funny.