AZ Bigfoot Sightings Debunked by Author
Posted by: Craig Woolheater on November 8th, 2006
Loren previously wrote about the Ft. Apache, AZ Bigfoot incidents here on Cryptomundo. Here at Cryptomundo today, we received the obviously tongue in cheek press release with a reference to the original news article.
Adventurer/Author JJ Hart Debunks Arizona Bigfoot Sightings, Blames Zombie Monkeys
"There isn’t any bigfoot out there," claims Hart, "just Zombie Monkeys"
WHITERIVER, AZ (NOVEMBER 7, 2006) – Recent months have seen fears and anxieties surrounding an unidentified simian creature in the Fort Apache reservation of Arizona swell to unprecedented levels. Those levels were exceeded yet again this weekend when the Arizona Republic newspaper ran an article purporting widespread sightings of a creature they claim might be Bigfoot.
Renowned outdoorsman, adventurer and author JJ Hart, however, dismisses such reports as "media hooey."
"Hooey, I say," exclaimed Hart at an impromptu press conference. "There isn’t any Bigfoot in Ft. Apache. Just examine the evidence:
"The newspaper article describes the critter as ‘a monkey-type creature with a tail…throwing rocks at people.’ That doesn’t sound like any sasquatch I’ve ever seen. Sasquatch throws poo, not rocks."
Hart also points to the fact that a self-proclaimed Bigfoot expert led a mob of amateur hunters into the woods to search for the creature.
"If they knew anything about anything, they wouldn’t go running through the forest, beating on logs and making whooping noises," Hart said with much disdain. "They’d stay the heck away from there.
"See, bigfoot’s a gentle creature. What they have there in Ft. Apache is Zombie Monkeys!"
Speaking as the world’s sole authority on the strange reanimated primates, Hart claims that eyewitness accounts bear all the earmarks of a Zombie Monkey infestation.
Hart provides a detailed account of his firsthand experiences with the creatures in a just-published book "Zombie Monkey Monster Jamboree".
"I wrote it as sort of a survival guide for any poor soul who happens to run afoul of these wretched creatures."
Hart has graciously posted the first chapter of his book on his MySpace page. The book includes illustrations of the creatures by famed indoorsman Will Meugniot.
Drawing of "Zombie Monkey" by Will Meugniot
"I implore the folks in the Ft. Apache to purchase the book and read it. And then purchase another in case they lose the first copy. Perhaps also purchase one for friends who may need it."
The original Arizona Republic article can be viewed online at: Ft. Apache reports spur Bigfoot hunt
Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005.
I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films:
OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad, Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster, Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot: Return to Boggy Creek and Beast of the Bayou.
Hmmmm, well, at least his tongue is FIRMLY in his cheek when he tests our gullibility (unlike certain ‘log-thumpers’ who shall remain nameless)
At the very least, he’s right about the RUNNING, WHOOPING, AND LOG-BEATING.
That is “NOT” the way to do it.
It’s walk, whisper, and WAIT!
Mr. Hart’s stash of peyote buttons must of gotten a little too fermented. The Fort Apache bigfoot reports sound a lot like the Pine Ridge reports earlier this fall…..do we have copycat hysteria or bigfoots who like to hang out on the RES.
Uh huh… Zombie monkeys?…What a bunch of hooey…
Bigfoot throws poo? The last time something was thrown at me, must have been petrified poo.
No question.
The arm-to-leg length ratio in that drawing is found in fewer than 1 in 25 trillion humans.
Zombie Monks it is.
200 copies of the book, please.