Which Actors/Actresses Should Star In A Cryptozoo Movie?
Posted by: Loren Coleman on July 11th, 2011
Okay, this is a time of year when I feel the need to lighten things up a bit, and take a break from heavy thinking, at least for one day.
How about a bit of CryptoCinema for a moment or two?
Here’s the Hollywood, Sherwood or Bollywood game I want to play with you. If you were building a movie about Bigfoot, Nessie, or various cryptids, what pro-cryptozoology actors and actresses would you hire to populate it with crypto-friendly talent?
Let me demonstrate what I am getting at here.
Below are some actors who are known to be open-minded about cryptozoology and might leap at being in a big budget feature motion picture about cryptids. In other words, the actors picked must not necessarily just be ones that have frequently appeared in CryptoCinema (e.g. Lance Heinrickson) but people who sincerely also appear to be pro-cz, whether they have a cz-movie background or not.
For example, cryptozoology is the hobby of Rhys Darby. Rhys Darby, the New Zealand comedian and actor, plays the manager in Flight of the Conchords. I posted about him here, recently, as have others.
Rhys Darby stars on Flight of the Conchords.
There are two other actors, shown below, who might happily be in such a movie, as well: John Hodgman and Justin Long.
Actor and genius John Hodgman is a well-known supporter of the International Cryptozoology Museum, having written lately online: “The work of cryptozoographer Loren Coleman lurks like Sasquatch behind every word of my books. Please support his museum.” by John Hodgman, Stand up, best known as PC in Mac ads.
Justin Long has now been happily associated with various Bigfoot and winged weirdie movies (Jeepers Creepers, Strange Wilderness, and Sasquatch Dumpling Gang) to such an extent that he seems to be highly pro-cz.
Females? Well, could the movie go wrong with Zooey Deschanel? Her interviews seem to indicate an open-mindedness about crypto-topics. Unfortunately, sometimes this interest gets twisted into tongue-in-cheek rumors that she even “purchased a Chupacabra with the intention of entering the beast in dog fighting competitions.”
Of course, actress Maria Bello has to be on the list, since she actually picked out her boyfriend based on the fact he was interested in cryptozoology.
Mario Bello, Pastis restaurant, July 12, 2009 (Photo by Bauer Griffin).
“’Allo ’Allo!” actress Vicki Michelle took a pleasure cruise on Loch Ness in 2009, and had a close encounter with Nessie. She might be a worthy candidate for a crypto-movie.
But while the former Playmate Anna-Marie Goddard may be considered the most famous celebrity Bigfoot eyewitness ever, I am unsure she can act.
So, who would you suggest and can you justify their likening of cryptozoology in naming them?
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About Loren Coleman
Loren Coleman is one of the world’s leading cryptozoologists, some say “the” leading living cryptozoologist. Certainly, he is acknowledged as the current living American researcher and writer who has most popularized cryptozoology in the late 20th and early 21st centuries.
Starting his fieldwork and investigations in 1960, after traveling and trekking extensively in pursuit of cryptozoological mysteries, Coleman began writing to share his experiences in 1969. An honorary member of Ivan T. Sanderson’s Society for the Investigation of the Unexplained in the 1970s, Coleman has been bestowed with similar honorary memberships of the North Idaho College Cryptozoology Club in 1983, and in subsequent years, that of the British Columbia Scientific Cryptozoology Club, CryptoSafari International, and other international organizations. He was also a Life Member and Benefactor of the International Society of Cryptozoology (now-defunct).
Loren Coleman’s daily blog, as a member of the Cryptomundo Team, served as an ongoing avenue of communication for the ever-growing body of cryptozoo news from 2005 through 2013. He returned as an infrequent contributor beginning Halloween week of 2015.
Coleman is the founder in 2003, and current director of the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine.
Mel Gibson would be a good choice to play a cryptozoologist.
William Powell and Myrna Loy would be perfect if they were alive.
Jason Lee
I would put together this team:
LEAD INVESTIGATOR – Lance Henrickson (Millennium)
FIELD – David Craig (James Bond)
FIELD – Jason Statham (Transporter)
FIELD – Uma Thurman (Kill Bill)
FIELD – Mila Javovich (Resident Evil)
I would put together this team:
LEAD INVESTIGATOR – Lance Henrickson (Millennium);
FIELD – Daniel Craig (James Bond);
FIELD – Jason Statham (Transporter);
FIELD – Uma Thurman (Kill Bill);
FIELD – Milla Javovich (Resident Evil)
Hilary Swank (who played paranormal debunker turned believer in “the Reaping”)
Christopher Lee (playing vampires, wizard, Sith Lord, dealing in film with paranormal critters and phenomena, good deep, bad news voice.
Sean Connery (who better to hunt Nessie than the ultimate native Scotsman?)
Anyone but Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. You can’t swing a dead cat without seeing them in a movie.
Bill Murray. lol
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=166623563378455
Samuel L. Jackson. He’s been in every movie since 2001.
Life Aquatic is awesome, and Bill Murray is awesome. But aren’t we supposed to be picking crypto-friendly actors? Of course, Lance Henriksen would otherwise be my first choice, since he’s my favorite living actor.
And by the way, Happy birthday Loren! 🙂
ethereal:
“Bill Murray”
That’s a good one. Would be neat if they reunited the Ghostbusters for a real life haunting investigation. They would be good for cryptid hunts too. Think of the publicity.
Bruce Campbell.
Or John Barrowman. LOL Oh wait, he was in Megladon-Shark Attack 3, brilliant fun that was too. The last fifteen minutes I laughed so hard I couldn’t breath!
redrose999:
Megalodon-shark attack 3
Sounds like a cheap Sci Fi channel flick, on par with “Wyvern” and (dare i speak its most abominable name!) Savage planet (one where they encounter grizzlies on a new planet. Worst special effects in the worst film i have ever seen. Though there is a film or two with similar names, hope i got this one right)
@Hapa
Yes it was a film on the Sci fi channel. Very bad, though I will say I watched it because Shark Attack 2 was rather fun (in a grade Z film way). Shark Attack 3 became a kind of cult flick too. God knows why, I suspect it was because it was honestly hysterical toward the end. And there was a Meg in it, how could you go wrong with that right?
The Scifi Channel has some horrid grade Z cryptid films. Some of them can be fun, for the OMG this is so bad it is hysterical factor. But I grew up on grade B horror flicks as a kid (ie Killer Clowns from Outerspace and Kronos Vampire Killer) so, I actually enjoy some of them.
I think you should cast Dan Aykroyd as Loren in the Biographical movie to be called:
“Cryptologist A to Z: The Life and Times of Loren Coleman”.
Dan has been a big supporter of and all things cryptozoology paranormal, and has had several cable shows on the subjects. He has also appeared on Coast To Coast several times.
Well, now…for an IDEAL cast I’d like to bring a few stars back from the dead: Lead Investigator Claude Rains (The Lost World) Field: Fernando Lamas (Lost World, Jivaro) mainly because he was way sexier than these modern “stars” ever dreamed of being. Lead: Arline “One Take Sally” Judge (The Mysterious Mr. Wong) Hotter far than Uma or Milla http://bit.ly/p7KKVr (see photo) LeadL Suzanne Kaaren (The Devil Bat) She was ballsy enough to take on Donald Trump in real life and in her mid 80s http://articles.latimes.com/2004/sep/07/local/me-passings7 I think he can handle a chupacabra feeding Lead Humphrey Bogart (The Maltese Falcon) Just BECA– USE…OK?
I think Loren has already named my favourite choice.
The lovely Vicki Michelle, especially as I haven’t seen her in very much after Allo Allo finished many years ago.
Gorgeous lady and she still looks great and more that that seems a genuinely lovely lady.