Who’s Faster in a (Big)Foot Race?

Posted by: Craig Woolheater on February 13th, 2010

Olympic Mascot Could Cost Canada Medals
Friday, February 12, 2010 17:08 GMT

CANBERRA, Australia (Wireless Flash – FlashNews) – The oafish mascot chosen for the Vancouver Winter Olympics could cost Canadians a few gold medals.
Today (Feb. 12) the games will introduce “Quatchi,” a large, simple-minded mascot modeled after Canada’s famed Sasquatch.

According to cryptoid researcher Tim The Yowie Man – who once spotted the Australian bigfoot, Yowie, in his yard – Quatchi is all wrong for the Olympics.

Of all the hairy beasts in the world, Tim says Sasquatch is by far the clumsiest, slowest, and least agile.

The cumbersome creature is certainly not an athlete and looks “ridiculous” representing the Olympics.

Tim believes Canadian Olympians will be teased mercilessly by opponents for their “dopey” mascot, which will affect their performance and cost them gold medals in sports they’re usually good at.

This may give other countries a chance to win.

Tim says lake monsters, sea serpents, Yowie, or even the U.S. Bigfoot would’ve been better choices for mascots because they’re all known to be speedy. Wireless Flash News

About Craig Woolheater
Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005. I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films: OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad, Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster, Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot: Return to Boggy Creek and Beast of the Bayou.

7 Responses to “Who’s Faster in a (Big)Foot Race?”

  1. Alton Higgins responds:

    Too bad it’s too late for the Vancouver Organizing Committee to adopt the agile Australian yowie for their mascot instead of the klutzy Canadian sasquatch. If a U.S. city ever hosts the Olympics again perhaps the speedy bigfoot will be considered for a mascot. That’ll show those Canadians what kind of mascot to choose.

  2. cryptidsrus responds:

    I would think that even having BIGFOOT be a mascot would not be a good idea, since a good portion of people basically see Sasquatch and Bigfoot as the SAME THING.

    I have an idea for one (nobody will take it, though, but one can hypothesize):

    The Wendigo.

    Big, mean, tough, and quintessentially Canadian.
    NOBODY messes with it. Fast, agile, and “hard to beat.” 🙂

    I know, too scary for kids and most people. But VERY memorable, if it could be done the right way.
    Yep, I’m into “offbeat” things.
    I will now take my meds. 🙂

  3. clman1 responds:

    I dare you to tell Quatchi’s 9ft tall big brother or sister that they are clumsy, slow, and dopey. I’d give myself at least a half a mile head start.

  4. bayoubeast responds:

    Tim the “Yowie Man” is obviously not much of a researcher, anyone that considers the American bigfoot and the Canadian sasquatch to be different animals has very limited knowledge on the subject.

    In my opinion a sasquatch is the ultimate athlete; stong, fast, flexible. I have never read a report that describes a sasquatch as being slow and clumsy.

  5. soundwave responds:

    I would have thought that anyone who loves cryptozoology would be excited over the fact that a sasquatch is the mascot for the Olympics. I got so excited over it that I called my wife while she was at work. Then I ordered a 16″ Quatchi for my small cryptozoology collection.

    Let’s face it, Canada had 2 choices for a mascot, a sasquatch and a moose. The sasquatch and the moose most likely had some sort of death match which resulted in the victor for mascot rights. Sasquatch once again proves to be supreme in the Animal Kingdom. Yowie man needs to realize that Sasquatch is king of the tundra.

  6. SCorrales responds:

    Chupacabras beats ’em all. He cuts across.

  7. YowieLover responds:

    Tim’s calling Quatchi dopey eh?

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