Ten Simple Steps for Improving your Bigfoot Research Results!!!
Posted by: Craig Woolheater on July 17th, 2014
From Dr. Matthew Johnson:
Here are Ten Simple Steps for improving your Bigfoot Research Results!!!
1. Find an area where you think a Bigfoot/Forest People family might be living (i.e., Search the BFRO reports data base; Read your local papers for reports; Ask other Bigfoot Researchers if they have any leads; etc.).
2. Thoroughly scour the area looking for signs of the Bigfoot/Forest people (i.e., Tracks; Tree Snaps; Tree/Stick Structures; Scat Piles; etc.). Also, check out the area to see if it has the necessary resources to sustain a Bigfoot/Forest People family (i.e., Water source; Plant life; Animal life, etc.). This may take days, weeks, or months. In other words, it doesn’t make sense to go fishing where there are no fish, right?
3. Establish an easily accessible base camp (i.e., A logging road base camp so you can drive to it and simply unload your vehicle; Some place that doesn’t take much time or energy to hike into to; etc.). The point being that if it’s easily accessible, then it will be easy for you to continually visit. If your base camp takes way too much time and effort to visit, then you’ll eventually burnout and stop going there. Also, your base camp must be in a “Fish Bowl” setting, closely surrounded by lots of high brush and trees so it’s easy for the Bigfoot/Forest People to approach your base camp. At any given time, our SOHA Bigfoot/Forest People family can get within 10 to 15 feet of us. DON’T BE AN AMBULANCE CHASER (i.e., Don’t go from one reported sighting to the next reported sighting to the next reported sighting to the next reported sighting, etc.). Rather, have the discipline and persistence to stay in one area and work it for years and years and years to come. You will NEVER obtain the Paparazzi money shot. Nothing comes quick and easy. You must earn the trust of the Bigfoot/Forest People family. It takes a lot of time to do so.
4. Keep your Research Team numbers small and diverse. Try not to have any more than 4 or 5 people in your base camp at a time. It’s good to diversify those in attendance (i.e., Male, female, adolescents, and/or children). Your Research Team must consists of people with good hearts and open minds. Much like a dog, the Squatches can sense who the negative A-holes are and they will keep their distance. Don’t bring any negative people with you to your base camp. Don’t be afraid to go SOLO too. HOWEVER, it took me 13 years to build up the courage to go SOLO. There’s really nothing to be afraid of regarding the Bigfoot/Forest People. Finally, although I’ve brought over 25 people to SOHA over the past 8 years, I always try to keep my Research Team attendance numbers small. If you’re serious about Bigfoot Research, then you won’t be hosting a Bigfoot Social Party in the middle of the woods. Yes, they may check you out but they’ll never come in close with that many unpredictable people there.
5. Have lots of FUN!!! Talk, laugh, play games, sing songs, whistle tunes, play instruments, juggle balls, etc. Do anything that you can that will help the Bigfoot/Forest People to conclude that you’re not a threat and that you’re actually entertaining to watch. The Bigfoot/Forest People love, love, love music (DO NOT play irritating Heavy Metal music). We have a base camp song that we constantly sing and whistle so they know it’s us. Hopefully, one day, we will hear them attempt to sing or whistle it back to us.
6. Find a spot about 150 feet away from your base camp and start placing “Gifting Bowls” there every night just before the sun sets. Make sure that they large metal dog food bowls so you can fit lots of Creamy Peanut Butter and Raspberry Jelly sandwiches in them along with other food products (Wheat bread NOT White bread). Speaking of BREAD, it has taken me awhile to finally figure out that our SOHA Bigfoot/Forest People family really prefer BREAD PRODUCTS (i.e, PB&J sandwiches, Bagels, Donuts, Fig Newtons, Cheese Bread Sticks; Cinnamon Rolls, etc.). Every night, clean the Gifting Bowls while wearing surgical gloves. Then retrieve them in the morning just after sunrise while also wearing surgical gloves. If there are finger smudges or finger prints on the “Gifting Bowls”, they won’t be yours and they won’t belong to a Squirrel, Deer, Raccoon, Elk, Bear, Cougar, Coyote, Wolf, etc. Also, consider placing Double Sided Tape on the inside and outside of the “Gifting Bowls” to see if you can obtain any possible Bigfoot/Forest People hair samples for DNA analysis. FYI: We have place vegetables, fruit, and meat (cooked and uncooked) and our SOHA Bigfoot/Forest People family won’t take it. They’re only interested in the BREAD PRODUCTS. Please keep in mind that I’ve been in SOHA for 8 years now. It took the SOHA Bigfoot/Forest People 5 years before they were willing to start taking the food that I was leaving them. Patience is a virtue.
7. Establish a “NO LIGHTS” policy in your base camp at night. Keep your base camp pitch dark (i.e., No campfires, No Lanterns, No Flashlights, etc.). Light repels the Bigfoot/Forest People. If you consistently keep your base camp pitch dark night after night after night after night…… then the Bigfoot/Forest People will feel more comfortable/safe to approach your camp as close as they can get without actually stepping into your base camp. You will hear them moving around and you will see their silhouettes and eye glow.
8. Absolutely no use of invasive high tech equipment. In other words, do not hang Trail Cams on trees around your camp. It’s not because they know what a camera is, rather, it’s because they know its’ something weird hanging on a tree in their home and, therefore, they going to avoid it (i.e., Trail Cams = Squatch Repellent). HOWEVER, the use of passive technology from within your base camp appears to work just fine (i.e., Parabolic Microphone Dish to record sounds; Thermal Imaging Video Camera; Night Vision Camera without Infrared Light ….. the Squatches can see Infrared Light and will avoid it).
9. Sleep out in the open on sleeping cots. They’re more comfortable if you use 4-inch foam pads on top of them. Once everyone is sound asleep (i.e., Breathing heavy and/or snoring), the Squatches will whack a nearby tree or a water jug in your base camp to see if they can get a startle response out of one of your Research Team members. If no one responds, the Bigfoot/Forest People will come into your base camp within 10 to 15 minutes afterwards and check things out. If you’re sleeping out in the open, they will come check you out too.
10. NO GUNS!!! The Bigfoot/Forest People are NOT dangerous. I’ve been out there for 14 years in four different research areas. I have woken up ALIVE every morning. If the Bigfoot/Forest People were dangerous, I would be dead a hundred times over. I keep a loaded 44 mag in my Suburban for Bear, Cougar, and Stupid Humans – NOT for the Bigfoot/Forest People.
There are many other things that you can do to improve your Bigfoot Research results but the above ten recommendations will get you started. The most important thing is that you establish a protocol/routine that you repeat every time you’re there. Routine makes you predictable. Predictability over time makes you trustworthy. Trust fosters friendship and increased interactions over time. If you would like to learn more, please consider joining our Facebook group (Team Squatchin USA) or go to our website.
Co-founder of Cryptomundo in 2005.
I have appeared in or contributed to the following TV programs, documentaries and films:
OLN's Mysterious Encounters: "Caddo Critter", Southern Fried Bigfoot, Travel Channel's Weird Travels: "Bigfoot", History Channel's MonsterQuest: "Swamp Stalker", The Wild Man of the Navidad, Destination America's Monsters and Mysteries in America: Texas Terror - Lake Worth Monster, Animal Planet's Finding Bigfoot: Return to Boggy Creek and Beast of the Bayou.
“Read your local papers for reports”
Be prepared to scour your local newspaper for YEARS. If an encounter eventually reaches said paper, don’t go to the area. It will be crawling with thrill-seekers and trigger-happy buffoons!
To the author: Nice story, Bro. You doin’ alright? You need me to call somebody? Have you eaten lately, are you on your meds? I worry about you, ya know, is all I’m sayin’.
I’m a negative A-hole, admittedly.
Having established this fact, I have to ask if Mr. Dr. Johnson is delusional, or just building up steam for some money making scheme?
Would I be right in guessing he is associated with the Ontario clowns that produce the recordings of the belch-talking english-speaking indigenous rusticatedly-hursuit-individuals-that-we-must-be-very-careful-not-to-call-bigfoot (or BTESIRHITWMBVCNTCB if you prefer)?
We often air our gripes here on Cryptomundo, whether is is about hoax videos or endless TV show feeds. Here is one of mine- that being the presentation of complete fantasy presented as psuedo-science, where the originator is not content to spin the yarn, but uses it as a foundation for more bullshit, as if by doing that the first bit becomes established fact.
Here I am not specifically calling out Mr. Dr. Johnson, there have been more than a few whackadoos joining us around the campfire. I hope they feel welcome in doing so, but as the subject of Bigfoot receives so little credibility as it is, I think there should be an honest calling out of those contributions that are obvious departures from reality (divining of motivation should be secondary to defining those contributions which are a detriment to the field of bigfoot research).
Negative A-hole, signing off.
Looked up SOHA… Ohhh, he’s not with the Ontario clowns, this is that guy in Oregon that sees bigfoot in every stump and root.
I understand the shrooms are very plentiful out there. Just be very careful you don’t poison yourself with a mis-identification. Party on, dude.
Greetings,
I see that hoodoorocket is on a rant and most readers will read his stuff and dismiss it along with me. However, he’s entitled to voice his opinion even if it’s wrong. I suggest this person get out in the woods and have a close encounter with old hairy. That will change his opinion for sure about the existence of the species.
Dr J has been researching in Oregon since his sighting in July of 2000. His advice is good and works well for him and other researchers do similar things.
My primary difference of opinion is that some specimens of this species can be very dangerous and intimidating. I suggest that researchers keep a firearm on them at all times when in the woods not only for other dangers but to deal with a dangerous Squatch specimen. You can keep it hidden on your person or in some type of pack but carry it if you lawfully can.
After 42 years of research and 5 encounters I now do whenever I go out.
I suggest that anyone who thinks the Bigfoot species can’t be dangerous read David Paulides book, “Missing 411”. You can read the western or eastern volume and draw the same conclusion that David Paulides implies but doesn’t state. In closing if you’re in the woods you can ask the question of Who’s hunting who? My best,
“I suggest this person get out in the woods and have a close encounter with old hairy. That will change his opinion for sure about the existence of the species.” Sounds easy when you say it fast, doesn’t it? All he has to do is CHOOSE to have an encounter with “old hairy”!
Hoodoorocket was right in this: As long as EVERYONE is failing to bring in convincing evidence that Bigfoot exists, let alone what his habits might be, NO ONE is in a position to say, “This is how to make better Bigfoot observations.” Maybe a better approach would be to catalog approaches that have been tried and failed, so that people could more easily identify techniques have not yet been tried.
@ airforce47:
You are most gracious in accommodating my wrong-headedness, thank you for your politeness in that regard. I appreciate your civility. If I fail to be civil to Mr. Dr. Johnson, please read the rest of this post for an explanation.
To clarify, I am open minded as to the existence of bigfoot. The PG film is the sole piece of evidence that makes me think there is probably an unclassified primate in North America.
Here is the gist of my “rant” as you call it. If I meet a guy on the bus who says he talks to the easter bunny, I smile and nod and politely move away from him at the first opportunity.
If I see that same fellow in multiple channels of media, promoting himself as the leading authority on easter bunny relations, then I am allowed to call bullshit.
Mr. Dr. Johnson has moved from a person on the bus who believes what he is saying to a person of unknown motive with a highly organized agenda. Co-incidentally his agenda copies classic bunko scam campaigns in its design. At this point I no longer feel the need for civility. I think at this point it is necessary to call a spade a spade.
Dr. Johnson has entered the field as a hopeful contender for celebrity authority status. His credentials are nothing but hearsay. Followers of this field really need to clean house to bring some credulity to the fore. We all have a voice in the matter, it is time to become vocal.
I don’t have time to pick apart all the red flags in his silly list, but the big picture is “Let’s all be super careful to follow my cooky (must be real if it’s cooky) steps for collecting evidence, that co-incidentally assures no evidence is collected”. How odd that this strategy accidentally allows for any yarn to be spun, with the hope that all the hop-scotch steps somehow lends credibility. If I fail to see bigfoot, it is not because this whole mess is made up bullshit, it is simply because I failed to “wave it all about”, in accordance with the Hokey-Pokey authority, Dr. Johnson.
Sorry Airforce47, but the only credible response to Mr. Dr. Johnson can only and always remain, “Cool story, Bro”.
By the way, did I ever tell you I have the power of invisibility? But it only happens when no one is looking at me. I’m planning a campaign of articles and blog posts showing how you, an average mortal, can learn this amazing power over the course of 7 or 8 years. I may run some camps to show you my power and prove to you that it is possible, but I haven’t decided if I will charge money or share my gift to the world for free. Online courses may be an option too. Of course I’m really holding out for a book deal or maybe a movie (hoping for theatrical release, but I’d be happy with direct to video).
As for your own assertions, you will notice I have never challenged your beliefs, even though they often range farther afield than my own limits. I civilly accept that you have experienced something that breaks the rules of the universe as we were taught them. I, myself, know that the rules of the universe differ greatly than the simple observations that we are taught to accept. I would be open to hear the full details of your experiences.
However, if you were to trade (betray) your beliefs for a pathway to celebrity, I would be the first one in the front row to stand up and shout “BULLSHIT”.
hoodoorocket, you negative A-hole,
You have to stop slamming Proven Bigfoot Provers (PBP). See, PBP have paved the way to full knowledge of the Forest People (FP). PBP and FP have been palling around for years (BIG HAIRY HUGS!!!!!!), and you can stream video of their campouts IfYouKnowWhereToAsk.com. I’m frankly so sick of watching them that I’m now scanning the airwaves for more giant squid video; bigfoot is sooooo old hat.
I could add that enormous odorous clouds like this tend to obscure signal, but then I’d be a negative A-hole like you. Just don’t go out in the woods, you negative (negative!) A-hole. Hint: 411, buddy!
[can’t sustain/just holds head]
@ DWA,
I am stung by your words and have to own my shame.
After some soul-searching, I’ve decided to put my negativity in check. I am man enough to admit to the vast body of irrefutable facts provided by these brave and enlightened contributors who are forging the new science/philosophy/religion of Sasquology(TM).
They’ve filled in the holes so completely about all that was heretofore unknowable about bigfoot, with details so precise as to defy questioning or even cursory examination.
Without their input how could we know that a breeding population of large omnivores, built by nature for the sole purpose of locomotion, actually had habitation patterns closer to that of the European smurfs or perhaps the Keebler elves.
Their diets have also been proven to be equally fascinating. While not directly disproving the omnivorous scavenger/gatherer theory, the fact that we now know from several sources of their overpowering predilection for super refined sugars and flours provides a stronger connection to the Keebler elves than first suspected, and perhaps points to a devolving line of higher beings, rather than an ascending heritage.
Last but not least are the marvels of the mental variety that have been spelled out by these brave pioneers of Sasquology(TM). I, for one, would never have guessed that the hollow hair of the venerable sasquatch contains an aluminum core, vibrations through which transmit telepathic thought like radio waves. Not only do these hairs create an innate “tinfoil hat” to shield bigfoot from the cosmic control of their other-dimensional masters, but also allows them to get HBO for free at almost any point on the globe. It just staggers the mind.
All hail the leaders of Sasquology(TM)! May they continue to lead us into a closer era of enlightenment.
hoodoorocket:
Now this is better. Your negative A-holeness was inspiring me to call Dr. J to send a few of his big hairy buddies over there to 411 you toot sweet.
On the bandwagon. NOW. Remember, no tech, no photos, no evidence, no information. Mum’s the word. But tell everybody all about it. Hey, they can climb aboard too, if they just send money to this website, right down here. [points down here]
LOL, attitude adjusted just in the nick of time! From 411 to 420, what a difference 9 minutes can make!
Not sure what to think, hoodoorocket. But the hair on the back of my neck, extremely sensitive to extreme A-holeness (Today’s Paranormal = Tomorrow’s Scientific Fact!), is not rising.
You may now submit yourself to the Forest People. Remember:
1. No evidence;
2. But blab about it, a lot.
airforce47,
I suppose I should note here that I firmly believe the evidence to point in the direction of an unlisted hominoid in North America. (As I’d think my numerous posts here should clearly indicate.) Hoodoorocket may or may not be more on the fence than me, but his posts elsewhere indicate a properly skeptical (in the true open-minded sense of that term) attitude.
We just have a little problem with the approach here. Who knows? This might be the proper approach, and the habituators may be right. But we’d rather just know; and I’m not sure that either of us have the time to spend doing this. If Dr. Johnson does good for him. But the absence of evidence that his approach is working asks us to just accept it on faith. And if anyone reading this can do that, well good for them.
Zoology just tends not to advance on faith is all.
P.S. Eliminating “squatch” and “squatchin'” from one’s vocabulary is an extremely salutary way to advance one’s research technique. Just sayin’.
My last post on this thread I swear. Just wanted to share what pops into my mind every time I hear someone say “411”:
Yeah, that makes me feel old, but there it is.